Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Still missing you

The memories don't fade
I put up a strong facade
The pain of you not being there
Missing your wisdom and care

Life goes on , sure
This heartache too without a cure
Life flows on without any end
Standing alone without you to defend
Good has happened in tiny spurts
Bad things often in bursts
Wish you were here next to me
Me fighting my battles for you to see

My body has died twice already
Yet like a Phoenix I have risen
But my heart died only once
When you were no more to listen

Won't lament that you are not there
The times that we had was indeed very rare
Only wish I had more time with you
It will be a short while till I see you

Love you dad, forever and ever
Your son stands tall not running for cover
Wish you were there by my side
To take on this world in our stride

Wish I could see you one last time
Plotting again like partners in crime
Want to get all our plans done
To hear you say out loud “ that's my son “
Read More

Saturday, May 21, 2016

A note to myself

I wake up everyday asking myself one simple question to myself. This last week i have been asking the same question more times than i do normally. Do I really believe that one fine day i am going to live in a world that was not given to me but rather the one that i would create for myself? A world that i create, carve out, etch out, inch by inch from my dreams, my passion and my desires. Living every second of my present by thinking what my world in the future is going to be. What i want my world in the future to be. Looking around and looking at my past, i see a lot of ‘should haves’ . I should have studied harder, should have practiced more, should have worked more, should have done this , should have done that. So many should haves. Perhaps my present is one should have i am not letting go of now. I am living my present the way iam living hoping that it doesnt become another ‘should have’. 
It’s a battle. One that we fight not only on the outside but on the inside. The fear of failure. The fear of strife. The fear of struggle. All throughout man’s evolution, everything has evolved purely based on the basic need to lead a easier life. Our basic DNA itself is structured on the fact that we want things to be easier. Fire, weapons, clothing, technology...all of it from the need for things to be easier. So battling the most primal urge in ourselves;to make things easy is not a very easy choice nor an easy action. We are programmed to take the easier option out in life. Overcoming that to fight for what is needed rather than what is easily possible is the biggest internal fight. Then comes the external fight. Fighting the naysayers, the dream breakers, the family members who go tut-tutting your ideas, your passion. Sure, they are looking out for you. They want you to live the life in the world that they imagine for you.  They think they know whats best for you and they may be right or wrong. But the only proven fact is that they are being selfish.  
Doing what is easy is very easy. Stand in the sidelines and peer from the crowd at the one guy who is standing in the middle doing the things that you wish you had done. Or you get in the middle of the ring. If you keep looking at yourself as a victim of fate, judging yourself by what you are currently going through, the situation that you are currently in, then you are wrong. Because winners win and losers lose. But only people who try can win. People who dont try have already lost. 

Take any major goal that you have. Or one that you are already working on. You have experienced a lot of  setbacks, major disappointments, many failures. Maybe you have already given up. Maybe you have already decided that you are a failure. Maybe all you need is a little push, a word of encouragement. There are winners and there are losers. And there are people who are yet to discover what it is to win. Going after your dream is not important, it is necessary. I want you to hold on. If you quit, its not going to happen.  It may not happen at the time you think its going to happen.  If you quit, if you stop, if you do not continue , you would not make it happen. When i started i kept a target. It didnt happen then. I changed my deadline. It didnt happen then also. It may not happen now, 6 months from now, a year from now, ten years from now. But i know it will be a reality. Because i am working at it. I know that this thing is going to work. I have been reborn twice in my life already. I will die how many more times it takes for me to make my dream possible. Because each time i will have evolved. I will rise again. I will make what my dream is a reality because i have seen it. I have lived it. Now its all upto me to make it happen. 
Read More