21 Days - Day 16

I didn't want to go to the hospital today. I had been pulling double shifts so many times the past month that I had many comp-off saved up. Not that I ever use my comp-off. I spend most of my time at the hospital that I simply don't know where or what I will do with all those accumulated leaves.

I woke up lazily, thinking I had slept in for longer than what was usual. But the clock showed seven. I had slept in for barely thirty minutes extra. My body has been conditioned to getting up early and there was nothing I could do about it.

I went around the small flat that I rented out in one of the quiet neighborhoods near my hospital, looking for chores to complete. The whole flat was a mess, and I didnt really want to start on getting it upright because I knew deep in my heart I wont complete it.

By 8:30 I had run out of patience and could no longer take the quiet and calmness of my dirty flat. I changed from the crumpled slacks I was in and into a plain salwar. Now that I had decided to go out, the destination wasnt much of a confusion. I headed towards the hospital.

Stepping into the hospital the day that you are not working has always made me feel different about it. It's as though everything is in slow motion. Without the hurry and hectic running around that is on a normal day, I was actually able to see the patients and see the impact of their disease on them. It was as though all through my duty time I had been wearing a different set of lenses.

I said hi to the duty nurses, shouting out even before they request me for assistance, that I am on leave today. I joked with them, laughed out aloud and then went to the cafeteria. I had just then realized that I hadnt eaten from morning. I had a filling brunch session and just wanted to stretch out and sleep.

I proceeded to my ward, proceeding to just check in on all my patients. Taking a look at the reports that had come in after I had left for the day. Seeing if the duty doctor had changed any of the protocols or medication. Everything looked fine.

I worked my way through the corridor, checking on each patient and leaving instructions where needed, sometimes revoking orders, sometimes accepting the changes.

I purposely kept Smita's room for the last. I thought I will spend some time with her today, talking to her. I opened the door and stepped in. The room was dark. That's when I noticed that the bed was empty.

That wasn't odd. We normally wheel around the patient in case they require some tests to be done which cannot be done at bedside. I went to the cafeteria again to grab a cup of coffee. I had to lurk in one corner of the room as I didnt want to get spotted by any of the seniors. Or by Smita's mom or dad.

I walked upto the nurse station and asked the head nurse the whereabouts of Smita. Sometimes in order to do tests, the patients will be moved around. The head nurse looked at me and said," You didnt know? they didnt call you last night? "

"What happened?" My voice almost shrieking.

"She is in the ICU. Around two in the morning she developed some breathing issues, and needed support. Nothing serious, the line in her room wasnt working. So the shift doctor decided to move her to ICU"

My breath of relief must have been audible. For a minute she had given me the shivers. I pushed back negative thoughts and almost ran to the ICU ward in the opposite side of the building.

Day 17