21 Days - Day 9

" He never called"

I didn't raise my head to hear nor show any reaction to her statement. I continued to change the drip bottle and checked the flow rate.

" He said he will but didn't call. We tried his number and it went to some machine voice. " she repeated.

"Hmm hmm"

"Why didn't he call?" she questioned.

I couldn't remain without answering, "Maybe he was busy Smita, you know your dad is a very busy man."

"It's always the same. My birthday, my dance at Annual day, Aunt Leela's wedding..Always the same excuse"

"He is out there working hard for you only. So that you can get everything that you want. He will be able to buy everything that you want. To go to the best school. To get you new dresses, toys, books etc. to get you .."

"What is the point of all that now... I cant play..I dont want to play... I am not going to school..I want him"

I was stunned to silence by this outburst. For a second I didnt know what to say. All through my life I had to struggle to get each and every thing that I have ever got. Past memories flooded over me. The orphanage..the foster parents..running away..the hostel life..the scholarships..every single phase in my life had been a struggle and here is a girl who got all that. Not just silver spoon but an entire silver cutlery had been given to her...yet, there is a mile of difference in our lives, yet so similar.

 "He will come, dear. Dont worry about that. I am sure that he will come as soon as he is able to come."

She replied with a sniffle.

"What about school? Do you like your school? " I asked, wanting to talk more.

" I guess it's fine. I like my school, especially crafts class. We have so much fun..you know last week Prabhu in my class dropped the glue bottle on the floor. Preethi then put all the glitter and chumki on it. Then Preetha slipped on the floor and rolled on all the stuff. She was looking so so funny. Every time she tried to get up she kept falling down. oh it was so funny."

I looked at her animated face, seeing it full of energy, despite the pale color brought about by her condition. For a brief moment I caught a glimpse of the innocence, of the life that was prior to all these...the dull blue hospital walls, the faded linen, the frequent pricks, the constant pain...this life.

"..and then Prabhu came to help her up and he also slipped and fell. It was so funny and Anita madam had to come and help both of them up. We laughed and laughed till it hurt."

"Ha ha I wish I was there to see it...must have been really funny. So what other classes do you have? "

" Oh there are so many. Most of the classes I like but I hate Hindi class. Bubble gum always makes me stand up and answer questions. She knows that I dont like or understand what she says only. She speaks in such a squeaky voice...like a cat."

"Bubble gum?" I interrupted.

"Yeah that is the name we kept for her. She keeps on going and going non-stop, like a chewed bubble gum..ha ha..nice na? I only kept the name for her."

I nodded and smiled and prodded her to go on. And she did. For the next forty minutes. Without a break. She went to a different place. Totally at calm.  Not worried about the next injection. Not worried about the pain. Not worried about her dad. Not worried about her mom. Not worried about the crafts class that she is missing. Not caring about whether Preetha had a better birthday dress than her. Not worried about the Hindi exam. Not worried.

I sat through the entire monologue, just nodding and prodding her along. Watching her. Watching her be herself. Watching her be her age. Watching a child.Watched her get tired and sleep off, her words slurring, while talking about her field trip to the planetarium. Watched her head fall to one side while she slept. Watched her as she slept, only to awake to another day.

I left the room as quite as I can.

Day 10