First born

Rohit woke up early and walked into the living room. He saw Rekha lying down on the couch. He slowed his pace and treaded quietly not wanting to wake her up. He put the kettle on the stove and a few minutes later got his early morning cup of coffee ready. He set it up on the dining table and started browsing through the newspapers.

“Good morning Rohit” a visibly and audibly tired Rekha said.

“Good morning” replied Rohit.

She settled down opposite to him and poured herself a cup of coffee and took up a paper that he was done with.

“Forgot to tell you, Moms expected.” ,said Rohit, peeking over the papers.

“Oh damn, its Sunday already. Who is it? Yours or mine.” , said Rekha with a hint of prayer on her lips.

“Oh it’s the super special today. Both” quipped Rohit.

“Fine, I will get started with cooking. One more thing for scrutiny and criticism” said Rekha and moved into the kitchen.

Rohit smiled to himself and continued with his papers.

A couple of hours later and the doorbell sounded. Rohit took his eyes of his laptop and glanced at the wall clock. Rekha peeked her head out of the kitchen with a question in her face.

“Mine”, said Rohit and moved to open the door.

“Hai da chellam..ivalavu nerama kathava thirakka..” his mom said as she swooped into the flat, “ oh velai paathutu irukkiya…ava enga..ava thirakkalamey”

“Vaangama, naan kitchenla irunthen. Eppadi irukkeenga, appa varaliya” replied Rekha as she brought out steaming containers of freshly cooked food and placed it on the dining table.

“Hmmm…illa ma…avaru Kumbakonam poirukaru..Thirukarugavoorku…ungalukkaga vendikka..” replied his mom with a sigh.

“Kalyanam aagi moonu varusham aaguthu, innum oru pulu poochi illa..ellam en vithi..” she continued before settling down into the couch with a heavy thud.

“Amma, I have told you before…Nadakrathu nadakkum…neenga atha pathi ellam kavalai padatheenga.”Rohit said.

“Amma neenga iruppeengala, naan mela poi thuni kaayavechitu vandhidren. “ rekha said, not waiting for an answer, making a quick escape although brief.

After ten minutes of silence ,His mom got up and came near the dining table and stood next to him in silence for a few minutes. Rohit continued to ignore her thinking that would make her not talk to him, but he knew that it was inevitable.

He sighed and turned to look at her. “ Sollunga ma…enna vishayam..”

“Onnum illa da..just chumma than vanthen..eppadi irukkeenga…ethavathu seithi irukka..malini maami kudutha doctor address poneengala..avanga moonavathu ponnukkum ippadi than rumba naala kuzhandhaiye illa..anga poitu vandha appram pathey maasam, taanu oru kuzhandha..Rekhava kootitu poi paaren…naan ethukku solrena..mothal pullai..un thangachikum thambikkum unakku appram than kalyanam aachu, ippo avanga rendu perum pera kuzhandhai kuduthutaanga..nee ippadi irukir….” She rattled on.

Rohit interrupted,” Amma, niraya thadava solliten, thayavu seithu itha pathi pesatha…engalukku eppo itha pathi decision edukanumnu theriyum..athan unakku rendu pera puzhainga irukkangala..appram enna…avangala konji vilayadu..intha vishayatha pathi inimel pesatha.”

His mom, clearly unhappy about being cut short in her tirade. She sighed and returned to the couch. Another five minutes passed and she started packing up to get ready to leave.

“Naan varen da…udamba paathukko..” and moved to the door. Just as she was about to leave, Rekha entered with the empty buckets.

“ennama athukkulla kilambiacha…saaptu ponga…samachiten..” said rekha.

“athukku onnum kurachal illa”his mom mumbled, “ Illa ma, inniku usha varen nu sollirukka, kuzhandhai paathu rumba naal achu..avalukku vadam vera potu vechirukken…athan kilambren..naan varen da…naan varen ma” and closed the door behind her.

Rekha looked at her leaving and then looked at Rohit and asked, “Bad??”

Rohit looked up, “ I need another cup of coffee”

“That bad uh? No coffee now, lets have breakfast now. After that will get you coffee. The day is still young. My mom coming in the evening. “ ,she smiled and went to the kitchen to get the plates.

Around 6 the doorbell once again quipped and this time Rekha opened it to find her mom standing there with three full bags of stuff.

“eppadi ma irukka…maapla irukaara..oh hello maapla…eppadi irukkeenga.” Her mom said as she entered the flat.

“Nalla irukken…vaanga utkarunga…Rekha, ammavukku coffee kudu…” said Rohit.

“Irukkatum maapla…ippo than saapten..nalla keerai kidachuthu..athuvum paasalai keerai..kuduthutu polamnu than vanthen”

“vaanga ma, naan panni tharen…” said Rekha as she took her mom into the kitchen.

A couple of minutes of silence passed in the kitchen with Rekha humming about with the utensils. Her mom watched her in silence.  Rekha carried on with her work, putting the milk boiler on the stove and lighting it. She heard a sniffling sound and turned to look at her mom, crying.

“amma enna aachu…yen azhureenga..”regretting asking the question the minute it came out.

“Onnum illa ma..maapla unna nalla vechirukaaru…neeyum sandhoshama irukka..avara nalla paathukra…aana oru varisu illama irukkey..veetukku mootha ponnu nee..un vithi ippadi irukkey..”

“amma atha pathi kavala padatheenga ma..atha pathi pesatheenganu evalavu thadava solrathu..thangachi eppadi irukka…eppadi irukku en gundoos…thavala aarambichitaala..Maliniya paathu romba naal aachu…pona maasam vantha husband oda…gundoos nalla amarkalam pannuthu..” said rekha handing her mom a cup of coffee.

“Ava nalla irukka da…kozhandhaiyum nalla irukku…muntha nethu vanthiruntha..oru 3 hours iruntha..attagasam pannuthu..” her mom replied, smiling to herself with the memory of two days back, sipping on the coffee

“Nalla kozhu kozhu nu irukku..happy for her.” Replied Rekha.

“seri atha vidu…naan keerai vaangitu vanthirukken…unga rendu perukkum time irukko illayo shopping poi thedi pidichu vaanga…paasalai keerai..nallathu..masiyal panni saapidu..maaplaikum kudu..paapom ithu ethavathu uthuvuthanu..”

“seri ma.”, accepted Rekha.

Both came out of the kitchen and took up the grocery bags and last minute instructions were exchanged and recipes discussed.

“appo naan kilambren maapla..odamba paathukonga…keerai kuduthirukken..marakaama saapidunga. “ her mom said .

“Seringa …paathu poitu vaanga…” replied Rohit with a smile.

As the door closed, Rekha leaned on the door and let out a sigh.

“Bad??” asked Rohit.

“two cups of coffee bad…actually not that much..think she is accepting things.” ,replied Rekha.

“Hmmm” said Rohit and moved to hug her.

Both moved towards the closed second bedroom  in the flat. They opened the door and looked in.

To the corner was a crib, still having some of the plastic wrappings on the legs. A changing table sat at the other corner. The entire room has been done up in bright orange and cartoon decals stuck all over the place. Bags of unopened toys, clothes, baby kits lined up the floor. In the centre of the room there was a rope coming down from the ceiling with a cradle all set up slowly getting covered with cobwebs.

Rekha started to tear up and before Rohit could say anything, broke down completely.

“there there…come on..stop crying…we have been through this..” said Rohit.

“I am sorry rohit…I am so sorry..i just cant take it…I don’t know how long I will be able to take this..” rekha said, half her words lost in gasps of breath and tears.

“Its not your fault. Its not our fault..it wasn’t just meant to be..it wasn’t the ..” said rohit before he also broke down completely.

Both stood there in silence clutching each other afraid that letting go would be the worst thing that can happen.

“we shall come out of this…We will make it happen..once we are ready and once we are sure of it..It wont happen again, dear..” reassured Rohit.

“4 months Rohit, She was with me for four months..inside me for four months.…Cant believe that she was taken from us..oh that blood..to see her like that…just blood and tissue..oh why rohit...i am scared Rohit…what if it happens again..I cant take it..” , she wailed.

“breathe Rekha…breathe…remember what the doctor told you…come lie down..” he half carried her to the couch and laid her down. He looked at the table. The medical reports were there. The third month report and scan. He looked at his wife. That’s what she had been looking at the previous night and cried herself to sleep. He sighed. It’s been three years now. He realized how important the firstborn is. He let out a sigh, understanding both their parents. To them they were first borns too. 

Photo credits : Cory Marchand. (sorry Cory. better late than ever. Great pic)