Eats, shoots and leaves

The above phrase is the title of a wonderful book by Lynne Truss. It’s a wonderful book about punctuation and this illustrates the seriousness. This line is about a panda bear which apparently eats shoots and leaves but the punctuation has made it look like it’s a murderer who just walks into restaurants, has its dinner and commits homicide before leaving.

The language of the damned ….or rather the language that is damned by probably billions of people across the globe now. It’s spoken worldwide or rather its slaughtered worldwide. Not even the countries that are supposed to be experts and the founders of the language are exempt from this lexicon murder that goes on unnoticed.

The Americans have got their drawl and their accents and their colloquial slang that does little to protect English, leave apart developing it. The british have lost all sense of punctuation and in their pathetic imitation of their big brother across the ocean, the language is literally down in the drains

When these countries are leading from the front can others be far behind???? Everyone knows of the Indianized English, the English from down under. Right now, introducing for the first time in the world of blogs ( atleast in my blog), the wonderful ingenuity of the Chinese English or Chinglish.

Sign at a counter of China Eastern Airlines: Check in animals and alcoholics, passengers
may carry two bottles wine.
Sign in a garden: Little grass is having rest, don’t disturb the,
Sign in a garage: If you are stolen, call the police at once.
Sign at a river: Take the child, fall into carefully.
Space for rent: Please inform office if you are interesting.
Sign at a cliff: Be careful the safe. No jumping.
Sign at river: Take care to fall into river.
Sign on a wall: Dying right here is strictly prohibited.
Sign in East China Hotel, regarding stoppage of water in taps: We are awfully sorry
for the convenience to you. Thank you for your uncooperation.
Sign near a low roof: Bump the head carefully.
Sign at an airport: Pregnant woman over 70 and disabled people lounge.
Sign at a hotel: ****Please present your voucher before break fart.
Some signs have inadvertent sexual connotations.
Poster for body cream: Whitening peeling cream, removes horniness.
Sign at a pond: Please do not feed the fish with your privates
Sign in a store: May your satisfaction sincerely aroused by me.
Piano teaching manual: Piano Teacher’s Intercourse Book.
Sign at a park: No kicking of balls.
Sign in a store: Please don’t touch yourself. Let us help you out.
Sign in a department store: Rear-service departmentd

Read and enjoy….if only the great poets of the past were here…they must be turning in their graves