21 Days - Day 7

It was a big day. Smita was going for Chemo and we had to prep her. I have seen this break down even the strongest person and it certainly was one of the most painful treatments. In short, it was killing of the rapidly multiplying cancer cells by medicine. The only problem was that this also affects other cells that are important; like the blood cells in the marrow, hair follicles etc.

Smita was in her terminal stage. Meaning that we caught on to the cancerous growth very late...too late in fact. What we are trying to do is to see if by chemo, we can reduce the cancerous growth, combine that with radiation and see if we can stop any recurrence, prolonging the lifespan...sounds good in theory but as any doctor would tell you, nothing is sure until we actually go through the process. No gambler would ever take this risk to ascertain as to which way the body would react to the treatment. It was totally case-specific.

The medicine that will be administered is the painful part. Chemo medicines can be given orally or as a shot and intravenously. This is determined by testing the absorption of the drug by the body. Luck wasnt with Smita. She was showing a very delayed absorption meaning that we need to get the drug into her blood circulation quick and that left us with one of the most painful ways-Intravenously.

I have seen grown men, strong men in fact cry, unable to bear the pain of the medicine coursing through the veins. I have seen people beg me to stop the treatment, not bothered that this is our last resort, our last shot in saving their life. A shiver went down my spine...damn. I dont know how Smita was going to react. The thought of the catheter in her arm...the coldness of the medicine...the throbbing pain as it races through the body.

I entered her room. It was filled up with people from the lab. Nurses ran here and there, trying to match up to the speed of the orders that were coming from the technicians. The actual radiation wouldnt happen for the next 3 hours. It was a short time gap that they had to administer the radiation after the chemo medicine has been administered.

I went by the side of the bed, placing my hand on her hand, the one with the IV line from her drips. It had been long disconnected and the line kept wrapped up on the stand.

"Doctor, can we?" the nurse opposite to me interrupted.

"uh..what? oh yes yes. Proceed" I said noticing the IV catheter in her hand.

Smita looked at me, a slight fear in her eyes. But more than fear, I saw confusion. She is in the dark as to what exactly the treatment was all about.

"Now Smita, we are going to place another line in your arm. No need to be afraid. It will pain initially but then it will be cold and no pain after that. So relax. You will be asleep in some time"

"Ok...Where is my mom..Is she not here"

Her mom was standing outside the door and chose to remain there, although I had told her that she can be there for the initial stages, right upto the point where she is taken for radiation. I didnt want to press her on and left her outside, clutching a kerchief to her face, either to stop her tears or as a last line of barrier against infection.

"Your mom is standing outside. She is not allowed inside. Dont worry. Once the procedure starts she will be beside you...you relax now"

The medicine was administered. There was a lot of twitching and twisting for some time and a short gasp and an intake of air. I turned my face away. They prepared the stretcher and loaded her onto that and took her to the radiology department. I silently followed the technicians and the nurse.

They loaded her into the lift and as the doors closed, I caught a glimpse of her face. She was asleep.


I stopped in front of the small altar that was in front of the lobby area of the second floor. I looked at the crucifix, saw the unrealistic blood where the nails had entered, the crusted blood that the artist had skillfully painted on the limbs. I was about to make the sign of the cross when something stopped me. I walked away.

Day 8