21 Days - Day 18

The day started off very bad. Really bad. It all started when I got a call at 3 in the morning. Doctors over the years develop a vibe when they receive phone calls from the hospitals at odd times. Sometimes it is a serious complication. Sometimes it is just a new nurse who doesn't know what to do if there is a change in protocol or wasn't part of the SI (standard instructions). And sometimes it was calls that go like this.

"Hello..Dr.Cathy" a tired voice called out my name.

"Yes..this is she..What happened" I said groggily, still sleepy but awake enough to recognize the number of the hospital on my cellphone.

"We have a situation. It's Seth"

" What happened, Sarala? " I said recognizing the night shift nurse's voice.

" He is going into convulsions. The duty doctor is trying his best, but I dont think he will last long."

Mr. Seth, or bed number 7 as we call him, has been in and out of the hospital for the past 3 years. He was 37 years old. Not a bad age. But a very young age for a person to be in the medical deterioration that his body was in. Nobody knows what exactly started it, but we know what condition he is now.  It started with a small accident four years back. That's when we discovered that he was suffering from leukemia. From there it was downhill. Diabetes came in and left him weaker than he already was.

"I shall be right over" I said, now fully awake.

I got dressed up pretty quickly. That was one personal thing that I learned being a doctor. I could get ready in  six minutes flat. Comes in pretty handy when one needs to be at the hospital at inhuman hours. I was almost out of the door when my phone rang again.

"Cathy, we lost him"

I paused but momentarily and locked the door and ran all the way to my car.

By the time I reached the hospital the duty doctor had finished all the formalities. I almost ducked out of the room when I saw the wife, but stuck around to talk to her. It was not unexpected but just because you know what is going to happen doesn't lessen the pain any less.

The day had started bad, and when a day starts bad early, there is no way that it would get better during the day. There was a couple of minor crises and by the time we got on top of that, it had metamorphosed into major crisis. It was almost lunch time by the time I finished up. That's when I realized I had gone  8 hours without any food. There had been 2 coffees and a half finished cup of noodles but that was so many hours ago I forgot about it. I headed to the cafeteria. It was full of people and I realized that I would be stuck with a plate of food in my hand and not a place to sit and eat. I decided to go out for lunch.

As I almost walked out of the hospital, I thought I will check out on Smita.I headed to the ICU.

"Hi Smita" I said with as much cheer as I could muster.

"Hi doctor. Guess what I am going back to my room today. The nurse who was just in told me." She beamed her good news.

I checked her chart and could see from the notes that she was doing well. The ICU doctor had written 'To shift to room' in bold at the bottom. This was a good break from the way the day had been so far.

"Yes. You are going back to the room. Told you right, that you will be fine."

"Oh yes. You were right. I can't wait to see mom and dad. They couldn't stay in here for long inside this room I guess. They didn't spend much time with me for these two days."

"Yes, that is right." I smiled.

"I heard about Mr.Seth.It is so sad" she said in a subdued tone.

I didn't expect that. I didn't even think that she knew who Mr.Seth was.

"You know him? Who told you"

"I heard the nurses talking when they came to check my vitals. I met him many times at the radiation lab. Then I found out that he was on the same floor as me. We used to talk lots about his trekking and his European tours."

I didn't know what to say. I had been treating him for so many years but didn't get a response out of him apart from what was bare minimum needed. I didn't know that he trekked. I didn't know that he had traveled outside India. But here was a nine year old who seemed to have connected.

" It is sad" she said, bringing me back to the room.

"Yes it is. He was in a bad condition. Not responding to treatment or radiation. He was getting infected often. But that's the way it is.It probably was for.."

" I meant that I didn't get to meet him and say bye to him. I wish I could have talked to him one last time. "

I realized I had once again jumped the gun and had gone off on a tangent all alone. She was sad to have missed a friend. And I had thought otherwise.As usual.

"Don't worry about that. Get back to the room soon. Your mom and dad waiting for you.I will see you in the evening" I smiled at her.

"Oh yes..ok see you" she beamed.

I stepped out of the hospital and headed to a local joint to grab some food. While I walked alone, I thought about Smita and her zest for life.The way she made friends quickly. Her friends. Her parents. Her condition. Her dreams. Her battle. How she was dealing with all that. Then my thoughts quickly moved to compare myself with her. After a couple of minutes I stopped thinking about that.

As I said the day didn't get better.

Day 19