Okay, I think I need to lay down the basic facts before I start this one. My dad is a Malayali (or Malayalee or Mallu). When i say that i actually mean his father was a Keralite who settled in Chennai decades ago. My dad is like me; born, brought up and spoilt in and by Chennai. But he does speak Malayalam so that makes him a Malayali. That makes me a half Malayali. ( I am also a half brahmin, half christian, half wit and half naked at times).
I didnt exactly plan to remedy this but I ended up marrying a malayali girl. When I say she is a Malayali, she is in fact the typical Malayali, having not spent more than 2 yrs in continuance in her home state. Her passport has the stamping of a couple of middle east countries ( which I think is the basic criteria for a Keralite). So now I have upped my quota to become a 3/4th Malayali. The sad part is that I dont speak much of this language except for a few choice words that I learnt just for the sake of cursing at the lungi clad maniacal drivers out there.
Don't mistake me. I like the state. I like the greenery. I like the laid-backedness of everything there including the people. I like the calm and the quiet of the whole side. I like the fact that they dont give a damn about false appearances like other people. I have been to shops there where the owner wears a similar lungi as his lowest paid worker. They just dont give a damn about external appearances ( how else would a cylinder like Mohanlal continue to play typical hero roles or a state have someone like Sreesanth). I like whatever else my wife tells me to like. That's it. Nothing more after that.
What I dont like, however, is innumerable. I dont like the arrogant attitude of almost all the people that you meet out there. " I am-holier-than-thou" attitude is normally common across all geographies but especially in Kerala it seems to be a bit more pronounced. Anything and everything is better in Kerala according to them. Erhhh..Okay. If you get back to them with stats stating otherwise then they shift the conversation to Dubai. I never knew Dubai was a province in Kerala. ( with the population split-up being the way it is, I guess India could try and annex it ). You talk to anybody older than 50 years in Kerala, they would somehow work the conversation about Dubai into it.
I see a state that has so much natural abundance but screwed over by itself. And by the skewing of the communist ideals that have been twisted beyond recognition to suit their own selfish needs. For the first time in my life I heard about something called Nokku kooli.(Nokku kooli at its best) It's an absolutely brilliant concept where you have to pay somebody to allow somebody else to do the work that the original somebody is/or supposed to do. Read more about it here.(Government trying to regularize it now. Read this. And once the government is done with that they are going to regularize murder and kidnapping, I suppose) When I had first heard about this I thought it was just some sensational journalism about a one-off incident. But my last visit to Kerala, we actually had to pay this. If something like this existed in other parts of the country, WOW..I would love to see it in action. Our MPs and MLAs would be the first person to demand this wage and frankly I wouldn't mind paying up if that would mean uninterrupted parliament sessions.
The next thing was brought to my notice by a friend I got friended with on my return trip. Sunil, Ascott limited, and me spent our entire return journey talking about what was wrong with Kerala. Unlike me, he was a born malayali, still a malayali and single. And there the differences end. He was pretty much on the same wavelength as me. Whether thats a good thing or a free ticket to the local MHS, you decide. He told me about an incident that happened to a colleague of his friend. I couldnt believe it so I checked on it. Here's the article. He says the moral policing out here is at an all-time high. If this is the case with a supposedly high literacy rated state, one can only imagine. He had a beautiful way of putting it. People here are literate but not educated. Same difference, you say?
On the day that I was leaving from Kerala, the government announced the commencement of the Kochi SmartCity project. An extensive sequel to the IT parks that are already there in Kochi. I was glad for a while. Then I was told that this was supposed to have been done about 5 years back. Great. I had to take a cab from Kochi to Thrissur and I wasnt able to get one anywhere. My friend out there, Subin told me, that there definitely would be cabs at Amrita hospital or near-about. So he took me in his car to ensure that I leave Kochi (Just kidding Subin ). You wouldnt believe the size and the condition of the access road to possibly the best hospital in the state. It was pathetically small and overrun with potholes.
En-route we crossed a railway crossing, which had an overbridge by the side of it . I asked Subin, why dont we take that bridge, Does that lead somewhere else? He turned and smiled and replied," Its an overbridge for this railway crossing only." I asked him," It's not completed yet? " He replied," It has been completed about 5 years back. The bridge is perfect. It would reduce the congestion and make it easier for patients and emergency ambulances to make it to the hospital in time. The only issue is that the bridge is complete , but there is no access road to it, on both sides. "
It certainly seems to fit the tagline " God's own country". Just that Everybody out there thinks they are gods.
I didnt exactly plan to remedy this but I ended up marrying a malayali girl. When I say she is a Malayali, she is in fact the typical Malayali, having not spent more than 2 yrs in continuance in her home state. Her passport has the stamping of a couple of middle east countries ( which I think is the basic criteria for a Keralite). So now I have upped my quota to become a 3/4th Malayali. The sad part is that I dont speak much of this language except for a few choice words that I learnt just for the sake of cursing at the lungi clad maniacal drivers out there.
Don't mistake me. I like the state. I like the greenery. I like the laid-backedness of everything there including the people. I like the calm and the quiet of the whole side. I like the fact that they dont give a damn about false appearances like other people. I have been to shops there where the owner wears a similar lungi as his lowest paid worker. They just dont give a damn about external appearances ( how else would a cylinder like Mohanlal continue to play typical hero roles or a state have someone like Sreesanth). I like whatever else my wife tells me to like. That's it. Nothing more after that.
What I dont like, however, is innumerable. I dont like the arrogant attitude of almost all the people that you meet out there. " I am-holier-than-thou" attitude is normally common across all geographies but especially in Kerala it seems to be a bit more pronounced. Anything and everything is better in Kerala according to them. Erhhh..Okay. If you get back to them with stats stating otherwise then they shift the conversation to Dubai. I never knew Dubai was a province in Kerala. ( with the population split-up being the way it is, I guess India could try and annex it ). You talk to anybody older than 50 years in Kerala, they would somehow work the conversation about Dubai into it.
I see a state that has so much natural abundance but screwed over by itself. And by the skewing of the communist ideals that have been twisted beyond recognition to suit their own selfish needs. For the first time in my life I heard about something called Nokku kooli.(Nokku kooli at its best) It's an absolutely brilliant concept where you have to pay somebody to allow somebody else to do the work that the original somebody is/or supposed to do. Read more about it here.(Government trying to regularize it now. Read this. And once the government is done with that they are going to regularize murder and kidnapping, I suppose) When I had first heard about this I thought it was just some sensational journalism about a one-off incident. But my last visit to Kerala, we actually had to pay this. If something like this existed in other parts of the country, WOW..I would love to see it in action. Our MPs and MLAs would be the first person to demand this wage and frankly I wouldn't mind paying up if that would mean uninterrupted parliament sessions.
The next thing was brought to my notice by a friend I got friended with on my return trip. Sunil, Ascott limited, and me spent our entire return journey talking about what was wrong with Kerala. Unlike me, he was a born malayali, still a malayali and single. And there the differences end. He was pretty much on the same wavelength as me. Whether thats a good thing or a free ticket to the local MHS, you decide. He told me about an incident that happened to a colleague of his friend. I couldnt believe it so I checked on it. Here's the article. He says the moral policing out here is at an all-time high. If this is the case with a supposedly high literacy rated state, one can only imagine. He had a beautiful way of putting it. People here are literate but not educated. Same difference, you say?
On the day that I was leaving from Kerala, the government announced the commencement of the Kochi SmartCity project. An extensive sequel to the IT parks that are already there in Kochi. I was glad for a while. Then I was told that this was supposed to have been done about 5 years back. Great. I had to take a cab from Kochi to Thrissur and I wasnt able to get one anywhere. My friend out there, Subin told me, that there definitely would be cabs at Amrita hospital or near-about. So he took me in his car to ensure that I leave Kochi (Just kidding Subin ). You wouldnt believe the size and the condition of the access road to possibly the best hospital in the state. It was pathetically small and overrun with potholes.
En-route we crossed a railway crossing, which had an overbridge by the side of it . I asked Subin, why dont we take that bridge, Does that lead somewhere else? He turned and smiled and replied," Its an overbridge for this railway crossing only." I asked him," It's not completed yet? " He replied," It has been completed about 5 years back. The bridge is perfect. It would reduce the congestion and make it easier for patients and emergency ambulances to make it to the hospital in time. The only issue is that the bridge is complete , but there is no access road to it, on both sides. "
It certainly seems to fit the tagline " God's own country". Just that Everybody out there thinks they are gods.
3 comments:
sathyamaanu manoj ....ee paranjathil kureyokke....chithrangalum ishtappettu ... chennai pole pettennu onnum njangade (nammude) keralathil nadakkilla.ivide janam 5 kollam communist aavum pinne 5 kollam congress aavum...ippozhum vikasanathil 10 varsham pinnilaanu keralam ! retirement life aaghoshikkaan oridam athaanu malayaalikku innu keralam...kashtam ente naadinte sthithi...mattullavare kondu parayikkaan vendi...bhagavaane ente naadine rakshikkane.....(hope u can understand manglish)
I understand your feeling and have to agree with u, except when u say its 0 years behind...places like kochi, trivandrum and thrissur seems to be in the fast lane held back by aged soceital restrictions...wish they could break free. ellam guruvayoorapan kaiyil
Tugged between your roots, your anscestors, your birth place, you've given a splendid post.
I am almost in a similar plane like yours, except that I was born in Kerala but with no connections and brought up in Chennai. Yet when I stepped in to Kerala last year, I was so damn happy and heard my birth place calling out to me. my head reeled as if I had potent wine.
This post beautifully strikes a balance between the natural resources Kerala has, the goodness in the majority of the people, the corrupted politicians and the natives who are eager to migrate to other states or countries instead of staying and developing their state...
humour laced throughout makes it even more interesting. the slight sadness and helplessness makes the post endearing.
Kudos to you Manoj.. there are times when I am really jealous of your posts... i am feeling that way now.
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