Bussing around !!!

I had the recently wonderful experience of travelling by the Chennai metropolitan bus service. Ya ya I know…it is an experience that is uniquely common to everyone and almost everyone under the sun has written a post about it somewhere…so I am also joining the multitude.

What makes my experience unique is that it has been about eight long years since I had dared to step into the city bus. Not because it was beneath me but because of the fear that lingers in my heart from my lastly remembered bus ride.

Guess it was in the first year of college. The only bus from my residence to the college( that I attended for a brief period) was crowded throughout the day and the most space that I could get was to get my little toe finger on the footboard of the steps. You would have seen photos that have shown this modern and novel way of travelling in India.



This became fun in some days. It somehow became an act of bravado and a way to show off before the damsels who were comfortably inside the bus (drive-in theatre and entertainment is one thing but these people were getting driving entertainment only). So, in a few days I got used to this and was one of the active participants in such heroic antics. Until that one day…

As usual I was hanging on one of the windows and was very busily trying to look as though it was easy stuff while nonchalantly trying to catch the eye of a girl inside the bus. This wide-eyed babe was in the same route as me and I have been trying to make eye contact with her for a week. That day looked like my lucky day. I was stealing glances at her when I noticed that she had looked in my direction, not so innocently for a few seconds longer than usual. My ego swelled. I puffed up my chest and continued to look at her, trying to catch her eye. Then our eyes met and for a fleeting moment I heard Ilayaraja in the background (courtesy Sarvam movie that I watched last week).

Then it looked as though she was about to say something. She opened her mouth and for a second I wanted to fly the few feet separating us to hear what she wanted to say. Phwackk!!! A searing pain shot up my butt. It was the local traffic police taking lathi practice on our unsuspecting asses telling us to quit hanging on the footboard. Then I realized what she had wanted to tell. She probably wanted to tell that there was evil about to befall me and my sorry little ass.

The bruising on my posterior made me lose my balance and I had to run behind the bus to get in. I got in to show the girl that I was ok and nothing would happen to her hero. As I stepped in, she saw me and started giggling to her mates about me. My ego took a bigger beating than when the lathi landed on me.

That was the last time I travelled by a city bus until recently. The recent event has also shook me up just as badly. The state government has recently launched air-conditioned bus to the area that my office is located in. Since the tickets are a bit higher priced, you get to see a different clientele using this service. I got in and got a seat. A very decently dressed chap planted himself next to me and I could see he was itching for conversation. He suddenly turned to me and let out the profound statement, “ The bus service in this city is very erotic”. For a few seconds I was shocked and searching around for any sign of visual stimuli that might have caused this statement from him. All I could find was a placard advertising the services of a doctor for piles treatment…no no that couldn’t be deemed as erotic. That’s when it hit me… he meant erratic.

You can guess how the remaining journey was. I decided never again to travel by the city bus….atleast not until it becomes erotic or not erratic. Either should do for me.